Wednesday, April 12, 2006

The Bush Press Conference Response Generator

The Bush Press Conference Response Generator
Revealed at last! The secret software implanted in the box Bush wore during the 2004 debates.

This explains some of the responses by this administration, which I have discovered do form a pattern remarkably similar to the typical Human Lying Response:

Question: "Is the US is considering a military strike to destroy Iran's nuclear facilities/Is that another woman in our bed?"

Answer: "That's wild speculation/You're talking crazy."

Q: "War plans have been revealed by the Pentagon/I see her, naked, trying to hide under my Laura Ashley sheets."

A: "I know what I hear here in Washington [that] prevention means force, it doesn't mean force, necessarily. In this case it means diplomacy/In our bed? On top of it, you mean. There isn't another woman IN our bed."

Q: "Are you planning another war/are you having an affair?"

A: "Questioning the actions of my administration is treason/You are trying to destroy our relationship."

And, in either case, an outright "No" is not forthcoming.

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